To travel or not to travel that is the question

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs. One minute your on top of the world eating caviar and drinking expensive wine planning your next move in life. The next your wondering where your going to live and how your going to manage to hold on to the remaning crumbs of your life. My life has been.....interesting over the past several years. From moments of "things are getting better" to "oh crap, another freaking loss!" One that just seemed to be going backwards faster then it was going forwards. From the loss of a home, finances, loved ones, jobs and a marriage. Over the last 10 years I have struggled to live what I believed was the American dream; The house, the marriage, the job. Thinking that if I just hold on a little bit longer things will be ok. Only to loose it all in the end. Now as I sit here writing this blog. I find my self wondering just what exactly I want to do in this life. Should I continue to pursue that once high and mighty American dream?....or try a different path? One that isn't so black and white. One that allows me a feeling of true freedom. Could I even take a step in that direction with out thinking I'm missing my chance at that American dream. You know what.... I don't know. I don't know if I could do something different. But, I know I can't stay where I'm at. Life is about moving forward, experiencing life, and living it to the fullest. So now I am in a place where my responsibility in very minimal. I am not tied to anything or anyone.

I remember taking a Geography class in Junior high. I remember the teacher showing slides of all the places he's visited and listening to all the stories and adventures he had had while living and traveling abroad. I would soak in every word and dream of what it would be like to do that to. I memorized every country I could because someday I would be there. But like I said at the beginning of this blog, life has a funny way of throwing curve balls. After high school I never got to do much of any traveling outside of the USA. I have traveled to other parts of America and even lived in a few states but, never outside the continental US. The farthest I ever traveled outside the US was Mexico and Canada. So now, I spend my down time thinking how great it would be to see the world and experience all the different cultures. But I wonder...Will I enjoy the experience of travel or will I be left with a feeling of wasted time?

Earlier this year I was bitten by the travel bug. Jennifer, one of my long time friends told me she was moving to China for a year or so to pursue her dream of being an action star. My first reaction I had was "So Cooool!!!!" The next thing was "I have to go. I have to go to China and support my friend." So since then I have been seriously thinking of how am I going to get there and can I afford it? I have searched online blogs, websites, and videos to get an idea of what it takes. And what I found was that it just takes a desire and initiative. So now, I just finished watching Departures (a nextflix show). And that just made that travel bug itch all the more. But I am nervous and scared wondering do I have what it takes to travel to a foreign country? Am I so Americanized that I won't be able to enjoy my time? I really hope not.